He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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