when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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