i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We need to get me chipped asap
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
