DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
