Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Randomize
