Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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