sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
