Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
