Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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