just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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