Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
