i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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