I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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