At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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