he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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