Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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