I'm going to jail i love you
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
