her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
