Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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