Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
