Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
