I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize