I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
