she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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