i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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