I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
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