3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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