it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
