I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
