Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
