I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
