Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When are your genitals available?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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