Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
