i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
