My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize