You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
