Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
