Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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