Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize