the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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