wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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