Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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