Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
