Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
