I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
