he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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