I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
