Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
