i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
