bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
