i think my mom watched the whole time
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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