Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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