Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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