I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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